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So, for a little bit of fun, I’ve decided to share a random assortment of diet-related quotes tonight. Most are just for laughs, but a few of them are serious.

“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.” –Jackie Gleason

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.” — George Bernard Shaw

“Never eat more than you can lift.” –Miss Piggy

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.–Orson Welles

“In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins.  Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.”  -Stephen Phillips

“When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the ‘I still have more to go’ cr*p.  You worked hard and you deserve the compliment!”  ~Jillian Michaels

“Forget love – I’d rather fall in chocolate!”  -Attributed to Sandra J. Dykes

“I’m allergic to food.  Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.”  ~Jennifer Greene Duncan

“I lied on my Weight Watchers list.  I put down that I had 3 eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.”  ~Caroline Rhea

“Obesity is a condition which proves that the Lord does not help those who help themselves and help themselves and help themselves.”  ~Author Unknown

“If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information:  french-fried potatoes are out.”  ~Jean Kerr

“I bought a talking refrigerator that said ‘Oink’ every time I opened the door.  It made me hungry for pork chops.”  ~Marie Mott (So, getting a fridge that says “Moo” would probably make me want steak and hamburgers?)